Jillian Approved: Humor, News and Nonsense

I used to work for an entertainment data company in Hollywood. I think I worked there for almost 4 years. When I first started, I worked one day a week and then gradually moved up and up and up until I had a job with a title that didn’t make me cringe.

Anyway, one day I was waiting for my boyfriend (no, not hubby) to pick me up so we could do our usual dinner and a movie. Now I don’t know what it is about me, but perfect strangers often feel comfortable just coming up to me and striking up a random conversation. And exactly that happened.

As I was beginning to grow annoyed by once again having to wait almost an hour after my workday before SOMEONE picked me up, this guy walks up and starts telling me he wants to be a singer. He says he’s been training for years and would like it if I gave him an honest critique of his voice. I politely declined and said I wasn’t sure if I was the right person to do this. He either didn’t care or didn’t hear me because he began singing anyway. He was loud and slightly off-key. And that’s when I noticed it.

As he was singing my eyes were drawn to the corner of his mouth. There, in the corner, was the white mixture of dried skin and saliva one gets from having chapped lips or not enough water. OK, so I don’t know where it really comes from but I know it’s gross and yucky and is something no one should ever have on their face. This guy was obviously someone that didn’t check his corners very often and/OR had assholes for friends. Either way… yuck.

I don’t remember what song he was singing and I’m not sure what my final critique was; I just remember being mesmerized by that white stuff in the corner of his mouth. I often wonder where he is now and what he is doing and if anyone ever offered him tissue.

It’s because of him I frequently check the corners of my mouth… and why I never hesitate to keep a friend from suffering the same gross fate.

From the movie “Love Actually”:

Natalie, a secretary, is greeting the Prime Minister: Hello, David. I mean “sir”. Shit, I can’t believe I’ve just said that. And now I’ve gone and said “shit” - twice. I’m so sorry, sir.
Prime Minister: It’s fine, it’s fine. You could’ve said “fuck”, and then we’d have been in real trouble.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition that I was gonna fuck up on the first day. Oh, piss-it!