Jillian and the Delusions of Grandeur
I just got interviewed! I know right? That’s pretty fucking awesome.
Except, no one actually interviewed me, and it wasn’t recorded, and I was pretty much just talking to myself. But that’s OK, it still counts… right?
When I was a kid, I did commercials. I did everything: shampoo, Nestle Quick, Cereal, etc. I was quite popular and everyone loved me. I was a star in the making!
Of course, I did the commercials in the privacy of my bedroom and my Mom was my biggest “fan”. That kinda counts… sort of.
What I’m trying to say is: I talk to myself and fantasize a lot. And when I say a lot I mean a lot. Sometimes I ask questions about decisions I’ve made, sometimes I’m really harsh with the criticism, and sometimes (on a good day) I might muster up some half-hearted praise for myself. Yes, I am hard to please. But that’s not the point.
The point is: I did the same thing when I was a kid and I still do it now. Recently (OK, before I wrote this post) I was hosting a radio show for two hours. I had the H and some of his friends on as guests. They were hilarious! So hilarious in fact, ESPN somehow got a hold of their Sports segment and offered them their own radio show! Right now, it’s only an hour segment on the weekends, but I think these guys are on their way to major things!
And what about me?
Well, I was approached by a big name company that wants to pay me for the stuff I write! There are some rules, though. I’d have to throw up some advertising and maybe change the layout a bit, but other than that nothing would change.
None of the above is true.
I mean it’s true that I talk to myself, but all the other stuff is just one big fantasy.
Did you know I had my own talk show? The house I grew up in had a mirror for a wall in the kitchen. I used to sit at the table facing the mirror and watch myself play host to my hit show. I would talk about the news and interview my guests. I prided myself on asking hard-hitting questions, it was my job to bring the the truth to the people. And because the network I worked for was kind of low-budget, it was also my job to plug the other shows and do the ads. So I also maintained a career in voice-overs. Things were good until my Mom would get home and ask if I’d done my homework.
Ooops.
It’s just as well, I was going to quit anyway. You know how creative differences can be.
Even now, I do commercials while I shower or brush my teeth. I write funny jingles for products I use frequently. As you can see I no longer host a talk show, but I do well in the radio business. I was a starlet for a while, but was busted for drug use; the hardest part of that fiasco was apologizing to my fans. I’ve done a bit of dancing for music videos and I sing the main song in the latest Disney movie. On Sundays, I take time out of my busy schedule to answer fan mail.
I think I need to get out more.
*****
THING OF THE DAY:
13 Responses for "Jillian and the Delusions of Grandeur"
This is serious. Maybe you should do a podcast to go with your blog. No reason to let all that talent and practice go to waste!
Jillian you have some serious talent… all that self talk and imagination is going to pay off. They are not delusions… it’s only a matter of time before the right person notices. Keep doing what you’re doing. If you can see it in your mind it will become your reality.
Anna- LOL… I thought about doing some Podcasts (why not, right?) just for fun. I just need to save some cash and buy the equipment!
Dawn- Thank you so much! When I get some equipment, I’ll see what kind of stuff I can do. I never thought of “making it big” as something that’s actually possible. I just really want to do some fun stuff and hope someone out there digs it.
Very very funny
Just be careful where you talk to yourself, people might want to lock you away in a fancy room with cute rubber walls LOL
Frank- Oh no… it hasn’t gotten so bad that I do it in public. I’m not crazy, ya know.
I agree, you’re talented, witty and funny. You never know who will stumble upon your blog and you could be discovered. Just don’t forget us little people when ya do
Love that pic. Those crazy Canucks. Wait, I’m one of those crazy Canucks. Oh well, could be worse. Could be Mexico.
It would be really great to listen to your radio shows sometime.
We may even give a custom emmy for your best shows.
Your blog is amazing anyways… I can see a potential dream come true there…
We’d love to have a kid like you!
OMG! U R sooo funny!
Larry King just called. He wants to book you on his show… you know, it could happen!
Here come the movie and book deals, the multi-conglomerate media offers (you could get your own network like Oprah), the paparazzi… girl, keep on DREAMING BIG, and keep on blogging!!!
You’ve got fans now (for real)!
Ahh, the old “imaginary interviewer” trick. This is definitely a demon trying to get in your pants…or head. Whatever. You haven’t invited any vampires into your home recently have you?
AH HA HA HA!!
The Canada thing!
I am peeing myself!
You hit your target audience on that one
Sassy- Thanks for the kind words! They are much appreciated!
whatigotsofar- LOL… thanks, I’ve had that in my album for a looong time.
Arvind- Thanks. I can’t wait to get my hands on some equipment!
Roufa Tav Gosou & Mimi Lass- Wow… you guys must have lots of patience! My poor Mom…
Random- LOL… that sounds awesome! I’ll take it! And thanks!
Rob- Vampires? Nah, but during the last Full Moon I rushed the H into the house before the “Werewolves” came out. I was dead serious. What’s wrong with me?
Lizzy- LOL… I’m glad you liked it. It always cracks me up!
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