Jillian and the Merciless Attack of the Toys!
The thing is, I’ve had this problem since I was a kid. I don’t know how it happened and I thought I had outgrown it, but in recent years it appears this affliction has not left me after all. It’s sad, because no one really understands it and when I tell people about it they think I’m a little weird. I’m actually not weird, by the way. It’s important you understand that before continuing. You must also understand that what I am about to reveal is not untrue.
Now…
I’m just going to come out and say it: I’m afraid of stuffed animals. Really. They bother me and I feel uncomfortable when I’m alone with them. When I was a kid my mom bought them for me constantly, I told her countless times how I felt about them and she brushed it off as silliness. Little did she know, at night when the lights went out, while all the other happy boys and girls were drifting off to dreamland I was wide awake frightened of my sinister looking teddy bear. I didn’t know when it was going to happen, but one night I was sure it would kill me.
And it wasn’t the only one.
There were others.
I had bunnies, ducks, elephants, and dogs. My mom had unwittingly created an evil army of playthings. What was I to do?
I couldn’t lock them up in my closet for fear of incurring their wrath. What if they got out? Why piss them off? No, they would stay right where they were.
I used to pray a lot. I would ask God to protect me from the malevolence that sat mere inches from my bed, and while I was certain He would do just that… I was still bothered. Praying didn’t really cover the “right now” of the situation. So I came up with something else. I started going to bed only when I knew I would fall asleep as soon as I hit the sheets. This actually helped because usually my mind was too tired and drained to dwell on my imminent death. For a time, things were nice.
Then I got a TV in my room. The television was my electronic savior! Finally, something to combat the evil waiting to get me. I don’t know how or why, but I felt secure as long as the TV was on. They couldn’t get me… they wouldn’t dare. Things were looking pretty good, no longer were my nights filled with anxiety.
Then, just as quickly as it developed, my fear left. I suddenly realized how silly it all was. Stuffed animals trying to kill me?? Yeah right. The following years were good. Toys were things of happiness, why would I fear them?
It’s back.
During those carefree years, I slowly got rid of the stuffed animals. I gave them away, donated them, lost them, etc. I was living my life free and clear, shackled by an irrational fear no more!
But somewhere along the line, fear eased its way back in my life. It was triggered when I received a molasses colored teddy bear from the H. In the light of day, the bear is cute… harmless, even. But at night, something about it transforms and it frightens me. I explained all this to the H, his response was, “It was purchased in love, so it can’t be evil.” A fair point, one I really wanted to believe.
But I couldn’t.
I hear noises at night sometimes, and like the dumbasses in scary movies I go and investigate. Our place is small, so I never really expect to find anything that’s going to warrant concern. Sometimes the sounds come from the hallway, but usually from the bedroom. The bear is in the bedroom. When I go in and look around, it always seems like it’s never in the same position I left it in. Why has it moved? Is it just me? After incidents like that, it takes me forever to calm down; my stress level goes through the roof and I’m never really comfortable afterwards.
So I finally asked the H to remove the bear from the house. I couldn’t take it anymore. He, of course, thought I was crazy. He went on and on about how ridiculous my request was, he just couldn’t believe it. “Are you serious?” he asked me, I damn sure was.
The H wound up putting the bear in his car, and so far no reports of weirdness.
And me? Well let’s just say the world is a little less frightening.
But seriously, is it just me?
*****
THING OF THE DAY:
Seriously, watch this. I LOVE it.
28 Responses for "Jillian and the Merciless Attack of the Toys!"
hmmm… Attack of the Toys… I have a Scooby Doo [soft toy] in my living room which is 4ft tall.
Like to meet Scooby? hee hee…
ok ok, i know am being mean but couldnt refrain from asking.
Unless you really want to have a toy, just stay away from them.
Ok.
First off, the wanting to get rid of stuff animals reminds me a drunken story. A post will now be created as a result. Maybe not today but very soon!
Second, the D&D video is quite funny. A good find!
lol… no it’s not just you
It happens to a lot of people. When my daughter was a baby she had two toys that I couldn’t cope with. One was an electronic piano light up toy that turned itself on in the night… very creepy! And a doll that had the weirdest eyes…. So imagine you’re in bed and all of a sudden you hear the piano start to play and you have to go out to shut it off and it’s next to the doll… LOL..
Some of us are more creeped out because our imaginations are a little wilder than the rest of the world!
Arv- Yeah, I think staying away from them is my best plan of action.
soupnumber5- I want to hear this story!
Dawn- I am glad I’m not alone. I didn’t even mention the doll my mom bought that looked like Chucky! And it talked!
I need to get this imagination under some kind of control!
Good luck, Jillian. We’ve heard that before, you are not alone.
Roufa has no phobias, but there are many cartoons he cannot stand. As a child they would make him cry and cry. Yeah, they made him very sad and they still do.
Hey, don’t feel bad. We all have those phobias. I can’t stand clowns (more common than killer teddy bears). I’m glad the H finally relented and took the teddy bear out of the house. Those with creative imaginations also have the down side we’ve got to contend with…it just means you’re great!
Roufa tav gosou &mimi lass- Hahaha, how nice to not have ANY phobias! I am jealous!!!
Random Chick- Oh, ever since I saw that movie “It” clowns haven’t been my favorite either. Yeah, the H took it out of the house AND constantly brings it up. Oh well, it’s not the first ridiculous thing I’ve done.
Now picture this — you’re walking home from the corner store at night, innocently indulging in a slurpee or something, when… headlights flare in the darkness! You squint into the glare, questioningly, as the unseen driver pops the clutch and the scream of rubber fills the night! The car bears down on you…your boyfriend’s car, your confused mind comprehends even as your primal reflexes take over and you tumble pell mell into the relative safety of some municipal shrubbery. You catch a glimpse of the car fishtailing by. Only a tiny pair of fuzzy ears is visible above the dashboard.
Grumpus- LOL… that’s NOT cool.
I can certainly understand how creepy stuffed toys may appear. I mean really, who wants to hug stuffed, lifeless toy animals? That could be a little morbid. However, I don’t share the fear thankfully. I am yet to identify an actual phobia as yet. I’m sure there is one though!
Harmony Sweetpea- Lucky you. A part of me knows I’m being ridiculous and it’s all in my head. And then there’s a part of me that kinda believes it, ya know?
I know what I’m getting you for your birthday!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Grumpus, you are cruel! Trying to give poor little Jillian nightmares!
Jillian: how about real pets, do you like them?
Mike- LOL… no way! Whatever it is keep it!
Roufa Tav Gosou & Mimi Lass- I like real pets, sure. I used to have dogs and kittens. Can’t do dogs because we live in an apartment and they aren’t allowed. We also can’t do kittens for the same reason AND I’m allergic (heartbreaking, really). I used to have aquatic turtles as well, my favorite so far.
You’re not alone, nor weird
Everyone has some phobia or another. Me, I cannot stand snakes or rodents. Even pets! They scare the wits right out of me, even when I know they are harmless.
I’m glad I am not afraid of stuffed animals, Shelly and my bedroom is filled with the things! I’d never get any sleep in there LOL
Frank- Thanks! I can’t believe I’m THIS irrational!
Ah, another good Thing of the Day! My favorite.
Okay any stuffed animals found in the trunk of my car I will no who was responsible….:))))
Jeannette- Yep, I heard this on a CD once and have always thought it was funny!
Robert- LOL… I have never killed a stuffed animal to this day!
It is you at least when it comes to stuffed animals.
But you probably are not afraid of chewy sweet tarts. Me either but I am sure there is someone out there who is freaked out by them.
If you really must know I am afraid of Star Jones.
Mr. Shife- Star Jones is definitely someone to fear. And I suppose I am lucky to not have a fear of food… that would just be weird!
Hmmm…Maybe you’d feel better if you ate some yams and marshmallows? hee hee hee
You should have tried putting the bear under the bed. He would have been eaten by the monsters there (and we all know that the monsters under the bed are the good ones…its the ones in the closet that are trouble)
On the bright side, H now has a traveling companion. I’ve got one (an old Curious George doll) and they come in handy to help keep your sanity (or lose it) from time to time.
TOPolk- If I had put him under the bed, him AND the monster down there would joined forces.
Oh god.
I was scared to death of DOLLS. All dolls. (I still am)
Meleah Rebeccah- OMG! See? I knew there had to be someone else out there! I am so glad, really. I’m just waiting to outgrow this.
Hi Jillian. I’m new to your blog. I hope you don’t mind if I tell you that I laughed until I cried reading this post. I know it’s scary for you and I not making fun because I totally believe that they freak you out. I DON’T LIKE STUFFED ANIMALS EITHER. There is something sinister about them. I’m glad you had H get rid of the Teddy. You are an engaging writer.
Gypsy at Heart Thank you so much! Of course you can laugh!! It was meant to be funny and at the same time share more of the ridiculous about myself! Thanks for stopping by!
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