Cuz Tonight Baby, I Wanna Get Freaky With You…

I found out not to long ago that on a scale of 1 to “I want to have sex with you”, I was rated about a 6. Which, if I may translate, means I’m only 4 beers and a shrug of “why not?” from being the best (or worse) night of your life.

Chris, thank you for your honesty.

I suppose this should bother me, but it doesn’t. Everything needs a rating: food, movies, cars, TV shows… why not sex appeal? If more people knew where they stood, it would prevent a ton of disappointment. A man who is clearly a 3 would not, under any circumstances, go after a woman rated higher than a 5.

So while I was hoping the scale would slide more in my favor, I am content to know exactly where I stand and what to expect if I should ever become single again. Look out you 6-8’s!

I only regret I didn’t have this information sooner, it would have saved me a lot of trouble.

Anyone care to share their number, whether it be real, made up, or complete fantasy?

*****

THING OF THE DAY:

I was awarded this:

Photobucket

… by Natural Woman from Thinking Out Loud.

Category: Best Animated Feature

Yeah, this was pretty awesome. You should know by now I’m all for passing these things on to people that deserve them.

But, if it’s OK with all of you, I’d like to bask in the glow a little while longer!

44 Responses for "Cuz Tonight Baby, I Wanna Get Freaky With You…"

  1. Natural Woman March 19th, 2008 at 5:36 am

    4 beers and a shrug of “why not?” from being the best (or worse) night of your life….Funny.

    I sure hope I would rank more than a 6, but if not, it’s always: their loss. :)

  2. whatigotsofar March 19th, 2008 at 6:08 am

    I’d like to think that I’m a 9 or 10. But, due to the worldwide conspiracy women have formed to make sure I’m alone and unloved, I’m guessing it’s a lot lower.

  3. Mimzie March 19th, 2008 at 9:51 am

    Well, in my mind on a scale of 1 to 10, I’m a 12. Easily. But in the real world, I’m probably a 10. It’s tough being me. It really is.

  4. Roufa Tav Gosou & Mimi Lass March 19th, 2008 at 9:52 am

    6 out of 10 men want to have sex with you! Run! Find yourself a safe place to hide!

  5. Roufa Tav Gosou & Mimi Lass March 19th, 2008 at 9:54 am

    Sexy is the new Cool. Everything is sexy. Gadgets are sexy, cars, coffee machines… Even bananas are sexy. We give our banana a 10/10.

  6. angel, jr. March 19th, 2008 at 10:20 am

    I would say that I’m a six also.

  7. Claire March 19th, 2008 at 10:24 am

    I love scales! They just make life much easier ;)

    Cxx

  8. meleah rebeccah March 19th, 2008 at 11:46 am

    lol @ Mimzies comment.

    I have NO IDEA what my # would be.

  9. fragileheart March 19th, 2008 at 1:21 pm

    Hmm… scales mean math and I hate math… so therefore I don’t like scales. Now food weighing scales, I love! So I guess I could give this kind of scale a chance. lol I wonder where I would rate at… Hey a 6 is pretty good - most people are a 3 ;P

  10. Jillian March 19th, 2008 at 4:01 pm

    Natural Woman- LOL… I agree. I also might need new friends! :-P

    WhatIGotSoFar- Aww poor you. That has to be tough. One day women everywhere will recognize your hotness! Then you’ll have the opposite complaint!

    Mimzie- LOL… now that’s awesome!

    Roufa Tav Gosou & Mimi Lass- LOL… it doesn’t matter how you spin it, 6 is a less than desirable number! And bananas are sexy!

    Angel, Jr.- Are you sure? I’m hoping “the scale” isn’t a definite thing.

    Claire- I totally agree. It’s very helpful to know the level at which I need to date if I should ever have to! Also, thanks for stopping by.

    Meleah Rebeccah- All it takes is the questioning of a trusted friend! :-P

    FragileHeart- LOL… most people are 3’s?? I hope not. Although on my scale that’s not necessarily bad. I think I’m more forgiving to guys than they are to me!

  11. Dawn March 19th, 2008 at 4:38 pm

    Well 6 sounds pretty damn good to me!
    I’d be happy to be a 6 :)
    now where is this so called scale?

  12. .45 March 19th, 2008 at 5:45 pm

    “A man who is clearly a 3 would not, under any circumstances, go after a woman rated higher than a 5.”

    I don’t think this is true. Men of all ratings play the numbers game, quantity over quality. They just hope something will stick, so to speak (they just may not tell their friends). As with the Lotto, you can’t win if you don’t play.

  13. Random Chick March 19th, 2008 at 5:59 pm

    Hmmm…if I was a guy and I had to rate myself, I think I’d be a 6 too or as you say, “4 beers and a shrug from ‘why not.’ LOL!

    But honestly, I think every single woman is a 10+ on this scale because most men, unlike your bizzaro friend Chris, will have sex with anything that slightly resembles a vagina…case in point:

    I was at the grocery store after just getting over the flu recently, I had the red-nose thing going, and looked like I had been run over by a truck. This guy at the check out gave me the, “Sure, I’d do you” look when he asked how I was doing and I said, “I feel like I’ve been worked over…” Of course my meaning was totally different!

  14. Jillian March 19th, 2008 at 6:17 pm

    Dawn- That’s a good question. LOL, I assume it’s something most guys carry in their pockets next to their car keys. :-/

    .45- See, you make a good point. I still think people would be less disappointed if they tried for people that fell within their “range”. But I play the Lotto as well and if I win one day I’m laughing at everyone that told me I was wasting my time. Hmmm…

    Random Chick- LOL @ “worked over”. I think Chris would still have sex with me, possibly after trying for someone ranked a bit higher. I’ll obtain another ranking in a few months, maybe he was “off” that day!

    Maybe…

  15. fwidman March 19th, 2008 at 6:26 pm

    Although I would hope that Shelly would rank me higher, I’d say, in all honesty, a one :) I’m old and skinny as a stick and a nice guy. All of those are terrible attributes when trying to pick up a partner in a club or bar LOL

  16. Robert March 19th, 2008 at 6:37 pm

    after reading all these comments I forgot how the scale works…:))) I give mimzies comment 12 out of 10

  17. .45 March 19th, 2008 at 7:58 pm

    “I still think people would be less disappointed”

    Sure, but life’s full of disappoinments, or so I blog.

  18. Jillian March 19th, 2008 at 8:03 pm

    Frank- LOL. I’m sure Shelly would rate you higher as well. My husband has a far better opinion of me than I do. I would LOVE to somehow see me through his eyes.

    Robert- You forgot? Pfft! :-P

    .45- Well that’s true… I was just offering a solution to make our time here less of a pain in the ass.

  19. bindhiya March 19th, 2008 at 9:15 pm

    I got a good laugh.. LOL
    congrats on your award..

    bindi

  20. .45 March 19th, 2008 at 9:21 pm

    “I was just offering a solution to make our time here less of a pain in the ass.”

    Oh yeah, like the two-ply. Right on.

  21. Keli March 19th, 2008 at 10:28 pm

    I like to think big, so single digits are out of the question.
    And congrats on your awesome Oscar!

  22. The_Mrs March 19th, 2008 at 11:44 pm

    I have no idea what number I’d be. If I kept my clothes on, the number would be higher, I’m sure. lol Seriously! Clothing is my friend!!!

    I think the older I get the lower my number goes, but the higher my level of ‘who gives a shit’ goes. :)

    Now when I was younger and all my parts were where they were supposed to be (think twins) my number probably would’ve been around an 8? Now? More like a 5. haha! But.. who cares.

    Like that guy Ron White says…. you can get a face lift, a hair transplant, your teeth whitened and straightened, you can get a boob job, fat sucked out of one part and injected in another… but ya can’t fix stupid! :D

    Thank God I’m not stupid, or I’d be in HUGE trouble!

  23. Phats March 19th, 2008 at 11:59 pm

    I am sure I am a 10! haha :)

    I love this blog you’re funny and cool for sure

  24. Arv March 20th, 2008 at 3:09 am

    Wow… I see a lots of SiX in da house… 4 beers??? LOL… if you have plans to do it, why waste the time with unwanted brews???

    Self ratings are always better than the best…

    Love the comment from Mimzies…

    whatigotsofar, women do that at times just to get their ratings high, hee hee…

  25. Jillian March 20th, 2008 at 9:50 am

    Bindhiya- Thank you!

    .45- LOL. That was not a reference I meant to make on purpose. :-P

    Keli- Excellent, a positive outlook! I should get me one of those. :-D

    The_Mrs- I am a personal fan of most people with the “I don’t give a shit” attitude. They always seem easier to get along with and upfront to boot!

    And LOL @ “parts where they were supposed to be.”

    Phats- Oooo 10 is definitely out of my range, LOL! And thanks for the compliment, it was right on time!

    Arv From what I understood, I wasn’t the one that needed the beer. :-/

    And men can be just as difficult as women!! :-P

  26. Monique March 20th, 2008 at 10:24 am

    6 is above average! I was ranked a 7 a bit ago… without any booze involved and I wasn’t exactly sure how to take it. I would like to think that I am at least a 8, but it’s like going in for a job interview and requesting to get paid 15 bucks an hour and they counter it by offering you 10. I’ll take what I can get!

  27. Garrett March 20th, 2008 at 10:41 am

    Anywhere between a 1 and a 9 depending on A. how much she appreciates my wit, intelligence, and generally inhuman sense of humor, B. whether she’s an eye woman and C. how many beers she’s had.

  28. dette March 20th, 2008 at 11:29 am

    lol - that was a good one - I’d be happy shmappy to be a 6 myself. :)

  29. Jillian March 20th, 2008 at 1:07 pm

    Monique- Oooo, great analogy! I like it.

    Garrett- Lots of women are suckers for beautiful eyes! ;-)

    Dette- Yeah, it’s about contentment (and in my case, acceptance!) :-D

  30. Random Chick March 20th, 2008 at 1:18 pm

    HEY! I just tagged you on my blog…I know what you’re thinking, “Not another God DAMN Meme!” Oh yes!!! ;-)

  31. Jillian March 20th, 2008 at 1:32 pm

    Random- AWESOME! I like that one! :-DD

  32. Claire March 20th, 2008 at 5:51 pm

    I am not good at the rating thing at all, in fact i get rather flustered when approached and have been known to stab myself in the eye with a straw, not on purpose :)

  33. Nick Phillips March 20th, 2008 at 9:36 pm

    Damn, they have ranks for stuff like these? Well, I’d best stay away from them cos I’d probably wouldn’t even make it past a 1 let alone a 6! LOL!

  34. Mr. Shife March 20th, 2008 at 10:15 pm

    Well I love me some me so on that scale I am a 10. I had to file a restraining order against my right hand when I was a teenager because it could not keep itself away from my penis.

  35. Jillian March 21st, 2008 at 12:40 am

    Claire- LOL. You know how people asks questions they probably won’t like the answer to? I totally did that! I ALWAYS do that… I’ll learn one day.

    Nick- Pfft! I disagree!!!

    Mr. Shife- LOL. - I laughed out loud!!! Thanks!

  36. Qelqoth March 21st, 2008 at 7:45 am

    My hand rated me a six. I’d rate it a nice even five. :)

  37. Jillian March 21st, 2008 at 10:36 am

    Qelqoth- Sounds like you guys have a lot to talk about!

  38. Qelqoth March 21st, 2008 at 10:40 am

    Yeah, we have a very tight relationship, lol.

  39. Claire March 21st, 2008 at 9:39 pm

    Ha I constantly live with a foot in my mouth due to the stupid stuff that comes out of it :)
    It makes it hard to talk at all, lol :)

  40. Angry March 22nd, 2008 at 2:07 am

    If this is purely a ‘do I want to have sex with you’ scale, then there’s a male scale and a female one. The male one is quite straight forward;

    Here’s the actual scale as used by all heterosexual males. Now bear in mind that this scale is not applied to every female, mothers, sisters and so on are excluded from consideration, but that’s about all the restrictions that apply;

    1 Is it a female of consenting age and not so old that it might be a health risk for her? YES
    2 Married, single, good looking, ugly, big, small and so on and so on? NOT APPLICABLE
    3 Is there anyone else nearby that I should also consider? MAYBE, BUT I’LL SEE IF I SCORE HERE FIRST.
    4 Go for it!

    That’s about it.

  41. Harmony Sweetpea March 29th, 2008 at 9:33 pm

    My partner recently made the mistake of rating my hotness as a 8 out of 10. Of course a 8 is great, but he is my partner and I want a 15! His theory is he has to hold something back.

    I sure did give him hell that night! But as much as we love our partners, are they ever really a 10 out of 10? Is anyone? Probably not the type of person you want to settle down with. And he still stands by his statement that I am the hottest he has seen yet so if I am an 8, everyone else is at least a 7 or below for him.

  42. CGHill March 30th, 2008 at 4:20 pm

    “A man who is clearly a 3 would not, under any circumstances, go after a woman rated higher than a 5.”

    As a 2 of long standing, I have pretty much given up going after anyone at all.

  43. Jillian March 31st, 2008 at 1:07 pm

    cghill- Nah, don’t give up. I still believe there is someone for everyone. Sometimes others just have to wait longer than some. Really. :-)

  44. ammaro April 3rd, 2008 at 8:00 am

    haha, damn dude. love the post. ridiculous.


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