Tips For a Successful Relationship: The Four C’s and One H
This coming May I will have been married a year. When my anniversary hits you should expect a horribly mushy scribbling in which I recount our wedding day and post pictures of the wondrous event. Now I don’t know how true this is, but I’m quite certain the Angels rejoiced on that marvelous day.
No really, they did.
Now I know some of you are wondering why would I attempt to give advice on something I haven’t mastered myself. And that is a valid concern. What do I, a mere Padawan, know about relationships? How could I have possibly learned anything worth passing on in such a short amount of time? Well, you would be surprised. In this post I plan on sharing tips and pointers previously unresearched and never before documented that will hopefully help you maintain a mind-blowing level of happiness in your relationship.
And for those of you not shackled to a ball-and-chain currently seeing anyone, I encourage taking note of the following.
Things every relationship needs to survive:
Compromise. Here is a word everyone should know. Compromise is when two parties come to an agreement through mutual concessions. I feel this is key in any relationship. Sometimes you guys are going to fight and no matter what, these disputes need to be resolved.
Example: You have asked your boyfriend repeatedly to take the trash out, but he doesn’t feel like it. Instead, he wants to watch “the game” and informs you he’ll “get to it later”.
The Compromise: You “misplace” the remote control. Your partner, being the Armchair Sports Fan (who says it’s not a pronoun?) he is, will probably search high and low for it while missing most of the game. You sacrifice another day without the garbage being taken out and he sacrifices being able to enjoy his favorite activity. Everyone wins!
Communication. I hope we all know how important this is. Learning to effectively communicate is an important aspect of any relationship. Keep in mind that everyone has their own way of doing it and it would benefit both parties if you each learned the best way to interact with one another.
Example: You want to speak to your partner in a way guaranteed to keep [and hold] his attention.
The Solution: As you speak, try peppering what you say with “keywords” you know will ‘grab’ him. For example: “This weekend, (sex) I promised my best friend (titties) we would help (ass) her move. I hope this (blowjob) isn’t going to be (doggie-style) too much trouble.” Who cares what he actually thought he agreed to? Not only was he listening, he was also showing an interest never seen before! Yay!
Cultivation. It is important to be mindful of the type of relationship you are developing. Is it one of selfishness? Is it one of giving? Is it one of honesty? Planting the seeds early will help reduce any misunderstandings either of you might have in the future.
Example: You are a cheap bastard frugal guy and think it’s important she knows that upfront.
Solution: Take her to a mid-range priced restaurant like The Outback Steakhouse. When the check comes, proudly bust out those coupons you cut out of the Sunday paper. This lets her know money management is important to you. When you realize the server forgot to deduct an additional 50 cents, make sure you point it out and have the mistake rectified. This is letting her know not only are you tight-fisted, but you are fearless when it comes to getting the full extent of a deal. She learns early on that such mindless splurges like Chanel purses will in no way be tolerated.
Commitment. I don’t mean being faithful, not that that’s not important. It is. But “commitment” here means doing what you say you are going to do. No one likes a flake. Never make a commitment you really don’t want to carry out, and never make one you are incapable of carrying out.
Example: She wants you to drive her to the airport, but you already promised your buddies a night of drinking and other such debauchery.
Solution: Don’t puss out on your friends, you said you would be there… so BE THERE. Just say, “No” and offer to call her a cab. Keeping your word with your friends lets her know you are dependable. Calling her a cab tells her you are both helpful and thoughtful.
Honesty. This means telling the truth. What relationship can survive without it? Truth is key.
Example: Your partner asks if you would ever sleep with their best friend.
Solution: Answer honestly. This shows you are comfortable enough with them to be open about any and everything. They will appreciate you all the more for it.
Oh sure, there are other places to get sound advice, but what is written here has absolutely no research behind it.
*****
THING OF THE DAY:
Random Chick over at Confessions of a Random Chick is holding a CAPTION CONTEST!!! The prize is either a gift certificate from iTunes or Amazon.com. Go HERE to enter!
It looks like a lot of fun and I… err…. YOU might win!! GO NOW!
35 Responses for "Tips For a Successful Relationship: The Four C’s and One H"
Are you crazy! You’re giving out this amazing advice for free!?! Don’t you know how much people will pay for this stuff? *sigh* girl!
Anyway, as you said I’m not exactly an expert in the area… even less so than you since I’m not married yet. However… we (the boy and I) have survived through some pretty shitty stuff to get to the (wonderful-everyday’s-a- honeymoon-even-after-3-years-and- even-through-long-distance-we’re- so-in-love) stage that we’re in now and I will attest to your preachings!
I echo fragileheart, you silly girl you. You should be charging people for this! LOL!
what a post!!! nice one mate… I had a wonderful time reading and laughing about it… have a nice day mate… talk soon… cheers…
I’d like to disagree with our approach to honesty. Obviously a woman wrote this (Jillian), now here is the guys guide to honesty (by Carl).
Never, ever, under any circumstances answer honestly about her best friend, even if you do think she’s hot. The best friend always has some blemish that you should mention. For example, “yeah, she’s pretty, but”. The but in he sentence is the clincher, you could then say the best friend has a fat ass, or her lips are too big, or she talks too much anything to make the girlfriend think she’s the better of the two.
Following this advice will prevent the subject of you wanting to sleep with the best friend ever coming up in arguments.
heh, awesome post. And congratulations!
Cxx
Wow, that commitment example is wrong. So wrong. When a woman requires a trip to or from the airport, the man must be available to physically carry her to the airport if no cars or cabs are available. It matters not if the man already has plans. Those plans must be broken, or the relationship is in serious trouble. I don’t know much, but I do know that.
Why does your blog hate me?
I’ll be back tomorrow to see if I can leave my original comment…
Absolutely BRILLIANT. If more people followed these tips…well, at least the COMPROMISE one…marriages just might last longer!! LOL!
OMG! I think these tips can actually save my marriage!! I will use the compromise tip tonight when I get home from work! LOVE IT! And the communication tip is definitely a keeper!!! But, I think you need to re-work the cultivation and commitment tips…LOL!
BTW, THANK YOU for pimping my blog in your Thing of the Day!
lol - your tips are too true. can you just help me with that communication deal? skinny *ss seems to think that I can read his mind.
Fragileheart- I know, right?? $500!!!
I wish you guys the BEST… and all the restaurant coupons you can handle!
Nick- Pay up, sir!!
Arv- Yes… these are guaranteed happiness!!
Carl- LOL… Oh Carl, you’re wrong. Clearly admitting a best friend is HOT is the best way to go. Trust me, your partner will love the honesty and probably trust you even more.
Claire- Thanks! I’m no expert, but these tips are flawless!
WhatIGotSoFar- Breaking a commitment shows you are not the dependable guy she thought you were. Call her a cab, trust me, she will not only understand but will thank her lucky stars for landing a guy like you!
Angelika- Booo! Blogger and I used to get along so well. :-/
Lisa- LOL… Compromise is key!
Random Chick- LOL… these tips are perfect! I didn’t research them or anything
Dette- I used to do that, so my husband got would guess wrong until I learned to just tell him what I wanted. This is an idea… maybe…
I’ve heard that there’s only one thing you need to know.
What’s yours is hers, and what’s hers is hers.
Which is probably why I’m not married, I worked too hard for my house and I’m not ready for it to become someone else’s just because they have a wet gooey pleasure hole!
And it absolutely due to those Four C’s and one H that I am still married to this day.
We’ve been together for over 15 years and it’s still going solid to the surprise of many.
Who would have ever thought that a loud crazy black puerto rican could ever make it work with a white mormon from Texas??
I agree with all except compromise. Mines never worked out!
great post, btw!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOh! So THATS why I am still single and very much alone.
I cant impliment ANY of those wise words of advice.
Great post (as always)
and early congrats on your One Year. xxoo
Honesty is important for any relastionship to survive!!
You got it going on.. and that damn (tits) (ass) I think that has been researched and will hold their attention… My sis has said something to that affect before.. Throw in sex and they are all eyes and ears!!
I cannot come to your blog or mikes anymore if I am eating or drinking, because I have to clean my monitor to many times! LOL!!
Ne.
I really (Louis Vuitton) think you’re (Prada) onto something here. If only (Gucci) there was advice (Marc Jacobs) like this for men.
Mike- LOL… If you ever change your mind, remember these tips!!!
Monique- See, that sounds like a story you should tell… unless you already have. I’ll have to check your Archives!
Marmelade- LOL. The compromise is a tricky one. And good luck with that roommate thing!
Meleah Rebeccah- I think the “communication” one can be used with any guy.
Angel- See, so true! I know my husband wouldn’t sleep with my best friend because it’s a gay guy. Unless he’s not telling me something… :-O
Single in the City- LOL… it works!!! It’s practically poor mans’ Science!
.45- Now that’s the spirit! I expect full reports on your usage of this technique.
Great post. Actually, I wanted to write something along those lines, but being someone who hasn’t even been initiated into this complex ritual, I ended up cutting my entire post to the 1 rule you saw. Haha. I think you really took just about everything I wanted to say out of my head.
And oh, congrats in advance on your first year!
Well that is indeed wonderful advice. Thank you so much because I need a reminder every now and then of how not to behave like a Neanderthal. And congrats on your upcoming anniversary.
Subbie- Hahaha. This was supposed to be anti-advice of a sort. But who knows, it might work with a special person! And thanks! I got the wedding pics scanned and ready for posting!
Mr. Shife- I’m telling you, this is GOLD.
This is a great post, I am glad to see that some people still take marriage sacredly. Seems that you are very true to your heart.That is a great thing. Congratulation on the up coming anniversary and may many more come, you are Real Blogger in my opinion.
Now I don’t know how true this is, but I’m quite certain the Angels rejoiced on that marvelous day.
Does that mean they won the baseball game the day you got married? ROFLMAO
Dwayne- That’s awesome. Keep in mind this…”advice” is of course is meant to be taken with a grain of salt!
Frank- Hell yeah they won [if they were even playing that day]!!! Don’t forget we DID win the division!!!
Jillian, you should write a relationship book, this is just keeping it real. I love your solutions…all valid points in the four C and one H. ROFL! Funny post, thanks for the laughs and happy upcoming anniversary. You will stay married forever!
Congrats on your one year anniversary! Thank you for the great advice. You are no padawan…
Thanks for the recommendation. *hugs
You have me in tears. This is the funniest post you have ever written!
I love the communication advice the best… Jillian you are in for one long happy relationship!!!
Who could resist you???
Happy Anniversary!
I couldn’t stop laughing, especially the communications part, those keywords are golden
Have you ever considered becoming a marriage counselor? ‘Cuz this is the best advice I’ve seen anywhere. “Misplacing” the remote is sheer genius.
Coincidentally, I asked my grandparents after their 60th wedding anniversary what their secrets were and they gave me the 3 Cs: compromise, communication and cooperation.
Oh no there is another Claire commenting, its not me both times
Maybe I should fit this advice into my counselling practice when I qualify and I will make money from it:) Hooray!
ha this post is great, you can give me any advice you want
I saw a comment on another blog by you, I liked the rocker chick on Idol! Mostly because she’s from Indiana haha. It doesn’t matter that little runt David Archuleta is going to win
Natural- LOL… I hope so!! Cuz if this doesn’t work, I’m not doing it again! :-O
Jasmine- No worries! Thanks for letting me advertise!
Dawn- Thanks so much Dawn. He manages to say “no” every now and again!
Ada- Haha.. when in doubt, hide the remote! I can’t believe people will look for it and miss their show while doing it! (I’m one of these people, too btw)
Keli- 60 years?! That’s Awesome. I’m sure by then one of us will have developed a drinking problem :-O
Claire- You hide a remote or unplug the cable and shit gets done, I’m just sayin!!
Phats- Haha, that’s the only reason you liked her? I thought as a person, she was probably fun to hang out and have a few beers with. As a singer, I just couldn’t get into her voice. I think she might have had potential, but she just never got the song choices right.
However, I do think Kristy Lee Cook should have gone before Amanda did. That’s HAS to be a slap in the face. And David A. is ADORABLE. He’s so shy and gracious… nothing like the teenagers I knew in HS. I just wanna kiss his cheeks and tousle his hair every time I see him.
You should send these to Oprah. This is way better than anything I’ve ever heard Dr. Phil spew. Who knows, maybe somewhere in the not-so-distant future The Jillian Show will be on my TV!
Mrs. R- Now THAT’S what I’m talking about
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