Is it Saturday Already?
Random things for the rest of the weekend:
When I have annoyed my husband to death he’ll ask, “Are you fucking serious?!” I usually reply with, “No, I’m Jillian.”
I do this for two reasons: 1) I know it pisses him off; and 2) I genuinely think it’s funny.
Whatever, it IS funny.
*****
For a brief period I had gotten into the habit of randomly saying, “Well, it’s about that time…” People would always respond with, “About what time?” to which I would reply, “Oh nothing, I just like saying that.”
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I dislike when people say, “If you don’t vote, you can’t complain!” My initial reaction is to say, “Actually I CAN complain, and loudly if I so choose.” But I refrain. Instead I quietly nod my head in agreement.
It’s not that I agree with not voting, I think everyone should. But dammit, don’t tell people when they are allowed to complain.
*****
One time, while shopping in the freezer aisle of the grocery store, I saw this girl running toward her family. She had on some hideous clogs that refused to stay on her feet properly. As I was reaching for a pint of Ben & Jerry’s I witnessed her fall flat on her face. Her shoes flew through the air and landed a few feet away. I held myself in check until I was in the next aisle over, then I burst out laughing.
And I know I should have asked if she was OK, but she WAS wearing clogs.
*****
Recently my husband and I were exiting our bank and we held the door open for this woman holding her baby. I saw her get out of some Mercedes-Benz SUV and I bet my husband she wasn’t going to say, “Thank you”. I was right. As she passed me, I was tempted to stick my foot out and trip her or let the door smack her in the back.
I did neither, I mean she WAS holding her kid. But seriously, why are people like that? Maybe I should start living my life expecting things, apparently that’s the way to go.
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I hate going to the store and having to buy maxi pads AND Aleve, it’s so obvious I’m on my period.
Something fun: Try purchasing maxi pads, Aleve, AND condoms. That will get you some looks.
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One time I bought ground beef, shredded cheese, tortillas, and taco sauce. The clerk asked, “Hey, is someone having tacos for dinner?”
Seriously?
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I remember this one time my mom and I were out at a restaurant and some little girl kept staring at me. Her mom was trying unsuccessfully to get her to eat her carrots. I stared back at the girl and smiled (I think I was about 17 at the time) and then she asked her mom if she could come sit with us. Her mom said yes (!!!). I got her to eat her carrots, and spoke to her in what little Spanish I knew. Amazing how trusting people are! She sat with us the whole time and was very well-behaved. She said I “looked like a princess”.
Ha! That is still one of the best compliments I have ever received!
*****
When you’re in the bookstore, why is it as soon as you fart someone enters that section? I thought most people were embarrassed about flipping through “Gay & Lesbian Erotica”.
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THING OF THE DAY:
Does anyone remember this show? I LOVED it!
38 Responses for "Is it Saturday Already?"
I watched WKRP after school. It came on with the Munsters. My sister was angry with her husband, so she gave him a shopping list of tampons, KY, Vaseline, Condoms, hamster food and a toilet plunger. He had four items in the cart before he realized what he was buying.
OMG Beeker, I spit soda on my keyboard. Hell hath no fury.
“I am serious, and stop calling me Shirley.”
I don’t vote because whenever I register, I immediately get called to jury duty, then I have to go and pretend I’m a distant relative of Manson. This is a pain. Also, if Bush can win two terms, my vote isn’t going to make a lick of difference in anything, but I’ll complain until my deathbed.
I like to buy maxi pads and taco sauce.
Was the little girl Hispanic or were you just randomly talking to her in Spanish?
And that is so true about the farting. Just when you think you’re far enough away from people and you can let one rip, someone shows up JUST as it starts to smell. That exact situation definitely happened today at work. Poo.
And I never really got into WKRP (I’m only 24), but I loved The New WKRP that aired a decade or so later. That was good stuff there.
Beeeker-LOL… that’s awesome!
Pit- What Beeker said was awesome!
.45- LOL… you’re a strange one!
TOPolk- Damn, I guess I should have clarified. But yeah she was Hispanic! It all seemed so obvious when I wrote it. Ahh well.
LOL @ farting at work.
I’m only 25 but I remember this show!!! I never even knew they did an updated version…
I didn’t vote last week, only because I don’t care who the mayor is and I also didn’t feel like walking the 2 miles to my new polling place for local elections.Piss on that!
CLOGS? You should have shot the poor thing and put her out of her misery LOL
No one should be seen in clogs outside of Denmark.
What a nice memory and compliment!
WKRP was one of the funniest sitcoms ever!
I LOVED WKRP. Best sitcom ever!
Pfft… nobody ever told me I looked like a princess! What a great compliment
Funny shite, but kelis got it wrong clogs are from holland not denmark
thanks for stopping by and commeting on my blogy
I did the maxi pads, tampons, and condoms buy once, and the walmart chick said “well this is a little different”. It actually embarrassed me even though none of it was mine.
When my husband gets mad, he will call me Mo and I love pissing him off by finishing it with the Nique part. It drives him INSANE.
I happen to think the first one is pretty hysterical too. But then again, I also think it’s hysterical when I say, “I’m hungry” and my son says, “I’m Travis” and I say, “I’d rather be hungry”, but that’s just me.
Frank- Hahaha. Clogs are BAD.
Keli- Agreed on the clogs. Those shoes are a death trap! And I wish they would put WKRP on DVD or at least VHS…
Dawn- Hahaha, that WAS a good show. I say we start a petition to get it on DVD!
Matt- Haha, my husband is half Dutch. He hates that Holland is known for wooden clogs and Amsterdam. Good luck with the blog!
Monique- Hahaha, yup I get embarrassed, too! Moreso if the checker is a guy! I love driving the H insane… it’s so EASY!
Christine- See? I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks stuff like that is funny!
Haha, those are too funny…I am looking forward to your wordpress site so I can read the post the same time I write the comment because naturally i forgot what you wrote already that I wanted to comment on…i don’t understand the fascination with these clogs that everyone is wearing…we were at the mall a few weekends ago and seriously they were for sale every 10 feet you walked. Very strange.
WKRP? in Cincinatti? man that used to be one of my favorite shows when I was a kid, always had a crush on the blonde receptionist, can’t remember her name but she was H-O-T hot
No I am Jillian. Yes that is funny.
You should buy the Aleve, maxi pads, condoms, ground beef, taco shells, taco sauce, etc. all at one time and then when the clerk asks about the tacos you can just tell him that you are freaky sex tornado. I can be alone at work all day and the one time I drop some nasty ass is when someone decides to come over and visit. It is kinda funny watching their face because I know and they know it smells like ass but they are polite enough not to say anything. It also cuts down their visit time tremendously.
The original music from WKRP has all been replaced in reruns and DVD releases. Shame.
And I think everybody remembers the turkey drop. And if they don’t, great shame.
Chelle- Haha, does that happen to you, too? But thanks, I am looking forward to the move! I have big ideas… but we’ll see how many of them I actually execute!
See? Clogs are EVIL!
Carl- First you’re a porn star, then a hermit, then… was it “helpful”? And you’re just from Spain! Geez! Pick an identity, man!!
And I already told you, but I’ll asnwer here anyway… her name was Lonni Anderson, I believe!
Mr. Shife- “freaky sex tornado”… haha.
And that’s one way to cut down on visits at work!
whatigotsofar- Ewww… why would they change the original music? That song is awesome!
I like that, no I’m Jillian. Well he did ask, lol.
I too had a store clerk say a similar if not same thing about dinner = Tacos. Have you tried a taco lasagna? Very good.
That’s right, you can complain!
You just can’t count on people saying thank you for doing something nice. Sometimes you just do it because you’re nice. It’s nice to be acknowledge though.
YOU ARE A MESS!! That is all I can say….. No food or Drinks anymore when reading you either!!!
Single.
That was too funny!
I loved WKRP too!
Also I hate it when people tell me I can’t complain, because I didn’t vote too. Drives me nuts. I can and will! (if I feel the need, which I do frequently):)
And I totally know what you mean about farting. What is the deal with that? It’s like people are drawn to your section right after you let loose. And I made such an effort to be quiet about it too. Not fair.
Oh and the bit about the clogs. Hi-larious!
“Guess what?”
“What?”
“Oh, you know about it then? Great.”
Throughout the show, popular (and unpopular) songs of the day were being played on the show. But due to copyright issues, the reruns had the soundtrack changed to feature generic rock and roll. Such a shame, especially when you consider the music is actually a key point in the show. The character of Dr. Johnny Fever continuously wants to dictate which records he will and won’t spin.
Natural- I know a “thank you” is sometimes too much to ask for, but sheesh!
Single- Haha. I think something IS wrong with me!
Michele- Wait… you make the effort to be quiet?
qelqoth- OMG… I LOVE that! Never heard it before. Of course I’ll have to run it into the ground now.
whatigotsofar- That’s a shame. Ugh.
Hallo, Princess!
And just a couple of days ago we threw a virtual custard pie at people who don’t thank you when you hold the door for them!
(Blogcatalog Group “I’m throwing a custard pie at……”)
When your husband says “Are you fucking serious?”
You should say “No, but if you don’t step up your game I’m thinking about it!”
Please don’t laugh at me. I wear clogs all the time.
The next person that doesn’t say thanks for holding the door open is going to get it pulled shut in their face. People have no manners!
You know what I hate about the whole holding the door thing? When there’s a crowd of people, and rather than the person behind you taking their turn and holding the door open for the person behind them, and so on and so forth in a sort of chain of consideration, everyone just keeps walking on through as though they honestly think that you are the doorman and have nothing better to do with your time. And then you’re stuck there holding the door until you have no choice but to let it go in someone’s face.
There should be a rule that a person’s obligation to hold the door for someone only extends to the person directly behind them.
Wow my scrolling finger got tired trying to get to the bottom of this comments list. hehe I think I’ve also forgotten what I wanted to say!?! lol you’re hilarious Jillian - farting, tampons, not voting and kidnapping little girls for a meal period. If you were a princess I’d say you’re Princess Diana (except that you’re still alive - oh yes I did) because you’re unorthodox in your ways. I mean that in a good way of course!! Would I come by everyday if I didn’t?
Off topic: You’ve been tagged with the 8 random facts meme - even though you just revealed some pretty random stuff here already! lol I’m a sucker for more!
ROTFLMAO!!!
You are too much!
Once I bought maxi pads, Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, Oreos, Midol, and a cheesy celebrity magazine…the dude at the check out looked at me and I gave him a, “Don’t even look at me or I’ll kill you!” stare back. He quickly looked the other way. I love having all the power! Muwahh ha ha ha (EVIL LAUGH)
Okay…seriously! You are cracking me up.
I love that “serious”…ha! I gotta do that to hubby.
I do feel bad for checkers though. Imagine how bored they must get doing that alllllll freaking day. They have to think of *something* to say. =)
Lol… Jillian, you crack me up with this post. Simple yet so powerful. Really makes procrastinating from studying for the exams really worthwhile.
I once bought tampons and maxi pads and the cashier gave me a look as though she was saying “what, you mean you can decide if you want it under you or in you?”
Oh well. what can i say, i love variety. Have a good day ahead!
LMFAO…
too much Jillian…
I had to be revived from a laughing fit and take some time to recover in order to gain my normality…
too good… Cheers mate…
Roufa Tav Gossou & Mimi Lass- Now that looks like a FUN group. But yeah, that whole door thing burns me up!!
Mike- That’s actually pretty good. Me LIKE!!!
Lisa- OK, because you’re cool. I’ll overlook the clogs!
I say the next time someone doesn’t say “Thank you” the door gets slammed on them (unless they are holding a kid :-/)!
Mrs. R- “There should be a rule that a person’s obligation to hold the door for someone only extends to the person directly behind them.”
YES!!!! Where is the petition?! Let’s make this happen.
Fragileheart- “If you were a princess I’d say you’re Princess Diana (except that you’re still alive - oh yes I did)”
LOL… Is it too soon? Nah!!
And I’ll do the meme!!
Random Chick- See? why would he even think about saying anything? LOL. Doesn’t he know it’s embarrassing enough already?!
castocreations- That’s true, it CAN get boring. Although a lot of the time when they are ringing up my groceries, they are chatting and laughing with one another. That’s another thing I forgot to cover!
Jasmine- “Oh well. what can i say, i love variety.”
LOL… I only use one of the 2 mentioned, but I shall keep which one a secret! And again: good luck on your exams!!!
Arv- Aww.. thanks a lot!!! :-))
Jesus! I’m laughing so hard right now. At ALL of these!
I hate snobs. You should have tripped her. He he.
“And I know I should have asked if she was OK, but she WAS wearing clogs.”
HAHAHAHAHA
ROTFLMAO
I LOVE YOU
This post was sofa king funny. Thank you.
Mimzie- It’s all true!
Monaco- I know, right??!
Meleah Rebeccah- She knew the risks!
Picture yourself as a child stuck in a car for hours, your hungry and thirsty. Got it?
Child aka me ‘Mum I am hungry!’
Mum aka mum ‘I am Deborah’
Child aka me but angry ‘ I SAID I am HUNGRY’
Mum aka biatch ‘I said I am DEBORAH’
Fast forward to the other day when nephew says he is hungry, what do I reply. Yep ‘I am Claire’ WTF!
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