It’s Like a Guitar String When You Pluck It
Did any of you ever see the movie “The Inkwell”? The title is a line from the film. There’s a scene where this kid’s Dad is trying to explain sex… along with the importance of the CLITORIS. Now I’m not sure if the Dad actually says the word CLITORIS, I mean it’s quite possible he just meant the VAGINA as a whole.
But something makes me pretty sure he was referencing the almighty CLITORIS.
I have no reason to mention this quote other than to say I still don’t get what the Dad meant. How is it like a guitar string? What exactly is getting plucked? I’m not going to lie: I’m VERY familiar with my “sex” parts, but I don’t know anything down there that requires plucking. Rubbing? Sure. Stroking? Of course… but plucking? Not so much. I pride myself on having a good relationship with the big “V”. We’ve known one another my whole life, and the relationship is so good I don’t even have to call before I visit. And let’s face it: whenever I DO drop by, we both know it’s only for one reason. Well, if you want to get into specifics, maybe it’s more than just ONE reason, but you get the picture.
In other news:
The job is going well… I guess. The money is good, but it’s certainly not doing anything to warm me up to the idea of having kids myself. And I am definitely no closer to being able to tolerate teenagers. As of now, I do a pretty good job of ignoring everyone on the bus and only speaking when someone speaks to me first. I’m pretty sure the students and counselors think I hate them, but I don’t worry about it too much. In the end, the only thing that matters is me getting them to their destinations safely and on time.
So there are these little boys who like to sit behind me and talk to each other the entire trip. Everyone else has enough sense to bring an iPod or fall asleep, but not these boys. The first time they sat behind me I thought they were retarded because they kept making cow noises and rocking back and forth. But it turns out they’re just stupid. Kids these days. I want so bad to turn around and tell them I see many many years of Virginity in their future.
I’ll be honest and say that I’ve thought about shutting this blog down. Jan can’t help but remind me EVERY DAY how many deadlines I’ve missed. Seriously. He tells me even before he says “Good morning”. I would leave him, but then I’d have to get a real job. And well… real jobs suck. However, I do wanna extend my appreciation to the people that visit even though the site has gone to crap. You know who you are.
Don’t worry, I’ll make it un-crappy.
19 Responses for "It’s Like a Guitar String When You Pluck It"
YAY! A Post! Whew.
Please dont shut this site down. You are way too funny. The internet needs funny smart women like you to entertain us!
Im glad your job is going well. And I am glad its not a ‘real job’… I have one of those and yes, they really do suck.
xxoo
Welcome back.
I remember that scene in the Inkwell, and come to think about it, you’re right. There’s not much plucking going on down there. Maybe some occasional strumming though. Or maybe he was more so getting at the point that you have to caress and love your guitar in order for it to make a beautiful noise. I don’t play guitar, but I get that feeling when I play Guitar Hero, so close enough.
As far as closing up shop, I think every blogger has that feeling. Especially those of us that have deadlines imposed on us (or impose them on ourselves). The blog stops being a hobby and more like a job. And no one likes their job. My advice is to just post when the mood hits you. It doesn’t always have to be the world’s funniest or greatest post. Just a piece of you that you feel like floating out on the blogosphere.
I mean, you don’t schedule when you take a dump. They just happen. And some just happen to be better than others. (I feel that this is one of the few blogs where a poo analogy can and probably will be appreciated).
I’m sure the Dad was trying to convey that, like a guitar, it needs to be treated gently and caressed
Nice to see an update! Glad that the kids haven’t killed you and buried you out in the boonies somewhere LOL
Good to see you back.
I learn so much here.
I don’t have one, but I’m pretty sure to pluck one would hurt it!!
Jillian I was drawn to your post when I saw that you had a tag category for clitoris. How could one NOT be curious? So I clicked on the tag, and…. well, nothing, Jillian. This post is the very first that fits that category. No other clit posts. But it is a good start.
Now, on to your delightful post. I’m sure that The Inkwell is really pulling your pecker, metaphorically speaking, Jillian. What they are trying to do, tongue-in-cheek (as it were) is make you think of a word which RHYMES with pluck. If you think of the right word, then it will be obvious that when done (in close proximity to the said clit) that said “string” ::wink wink nudge nudge:: will often begin to vibrate. I really thought this was obvious. Perhaps I’m wrong.
Jillian, I am a relative newcomer (no pun intended) to your fine blog. Is it always this dirty? I am sort of embarrassed to tell you the truth. Embarrassed but strangely excited at the same time. I mean, it’s ok and all. For sure. Thanks.
I’ll provide my take on the guitar string simile.
No, you’re not meant to pluck the clitoris. Neither are you meant to lovingly caress a guitar (have you ever heard guitar playing done by someone who “caresses” the guitar? it’s shit). And, I’m sorry, but what the hell is Relax Max talking about. Since when does the clitoris start wiggling and vibrating during sex? Unless you’re screwing a robot, that thing stays pretty much in the same place.
But what happens when you pluck a guitar string? That once-quiet, tightly-would wire jolts to life in an electric burst that resonates long after the touch. The readiness of the organ. The ecstatic reverberation. THAT is what the clitoris is “like”.
To clarify, but be more prosaic, one could say “it’s like what happens after you pluck a guitar string.”
This post is hilarious!
You’re definitely most awesome
Glad to see you back and to hear that the job is going well.
Nooooo, you can’t shut the blog down! I agree with some of the other posters–maybe changing or eliminating deadlines will help. We can always drop by from time to time to see what’s new.
And where the hell have you been young lady?
If you shut this blog down, I will throw a really bad tantrum and embarass the crap out of you!!
Don’t leave us. Throw us a bone very month or two…just any small morsel. It’s OK, we’ll manage somehow. Just say you’ll stay!
You and Mr.45 suck
(I love you really and hope job is going well)
Do not shut this blog down.
I refute Claire’s statement. Every one of you who foolishly abandon their weblogs is pushing me one step closer to global domination. But while that’s true, I beg you not to leave.
If you quit, all I’ll have left are Claire’s kneecaps to keep me going. Please Jillian - I’m talking about her kneecaps here FFS.
What really bothers me is if the Dad was talking about a vagina, then . . . plucking? Hmmm.
In other news, I hope you decide to hang around. Your awesome job sounds like it will provide a lot of blog fodder (but hopefully not about clitorises).
MISSING YOU
What up, kiddo? Just stopping by to see what happened to you and to leave you my “new” blog address
Blogono went into the crapper and got flushed down the cyberspace toilet and is no more. So, come visit me over on blogger instead 
See ya later, alligator
Hi you have a great humor blog and just added you…Hope you can join Our Food Recipes. Thank You
It was hilarious hearing you discuss the term “plucking” haha. I know exactly what you mean about some these kids these days. If I had two kids making cow sounds while rockin back and forth for the whole ride, I may not sure if i could keep my mouth shut. You must have a good amount of patience. Hats off to you.
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