*****
Have you met these guys? I have.

4 People You Meet [and should avoid] While Wearing a Sports Jersey:

Friendly Freddy – This guy is hard to miss. He sees your jersey as a conversation piece and possible friendship starter. His usual approach is to say something about your team that’s common knowledge and draw you into a discussion about how so-and-so has gotten lazy and is no longer a force in the outfield. You might smile politely, reply, then try to move away but he won’t let you. No, he wants to tell you about the time him and his friends went to some game in some city and did all that stuff. He blathers on and on and finally, when you’ve had enough, you cut him off saying you’ve got somewhere to be. You actually do have somewhere to be: away from him. He tries not to look embarrassed as you quickly leave, cursing yourself for not deciding on a simple t-shirt.

Assuming Andy – If you’re a girlie, chances are you’ve run into this guy. This guy thinks because you’re a woman in a jersey, it must belong to your brother, boyfriend, or husband. Surely you can’t be a fan in your own right and know the history and stats to back it up. Like the “Friendly Freddy”, this guy will also strike up a conversation but not in a lame attempt at friendship. This guy wants to know if YOU know anything about the team or the player you’re reppin’. He might play dumb and ask what position the player on your jersey plays and if he did well last season. Once you’ve established that not only is the jersey yours, but that you’re also a legitimate fan, he loses interest and quickly ends the conversation. What? He didn’t want to hear your thoughts on why Defense should switch back to the 3-4 formation? Jerk.

Captain Oblivious – This person just might be a dumbass. Like the previous types, they are also quite chatty. They don’t necessarily want to be your friend or test your sports knowledge, they just want to know what team your jersey supports. You’d think having the logo [and team name] on the front, sides, and back of the jersey might be a clue. Alas, not for these chumps, they have to ask you. Forget paying attention, they don’t mind looking like complete tools. Captain Oblivious: When conspicuous is not enough.

Belligerent Bill – This guy is my least favorite. “Belligerent Bills” are the chattiest of the bunch. You might be thinking: “Well aren’t they just like ‘Friendly Freddy’?” No! While “Belligerent Bills” like to talk, their intent is never a friendly one. These guys hate the team you’re supporting and use a random casual encounter to tell you why their team is vastly superior to yours. They are assholes. Seriously. They have no qualms about coming up to a perfect stranger and listing the faults of that person’s team. Yeah, you guys need a stronger O-line. What’s up with your Defense? They forget how to play? Your team might need some work, but you’ll notice their team can do no wrong. Did they lose the game last night? It wasn’t because the other team was better, it was because the refs made fucked up calls. Did their Quarterback throw an interception that was ran back for a touchdown? According to them, that should have been flagged. Excuses, Excuses. When you point out the flaws in their team, they fall back on the last Super Bowl win like a drowning man grabs a lifesaver. Get out of this conversation as quickly as you can. They aren’t interested in just discussing the game, they want to bash your team and have you stand there and take it. Don’t do it!

So yeah, if possible, avoid these guys.

And yes, they are most certainly out there.

*****

THING OF THE DAY:

I posted this on a few MySpace pages during the Football season. If you’ve ever cared about the OUTCOME of ANYTHING EVER, I urge you to watch this. It’s only 60 seconds.

(Note: contains strong language)

NFC CHAMPIONS: New York Giants (23-20 (OT) Green Bay Packers)

Check out who made the Super Bowl.

The Hubby and I were supposed to make it over to a friend’s house in time to watch the New England/Chargers game, but as usual, we were late. We overslept. The good news is (well maybe it’s not GOOD news) I knew the Pats were going to win. Even though we missed practically the whole game I don’t feel THAT bad, it’s not like I’m surprised by the outcome. But I suppose since it’s the play-offs EVERY game is worth watching. Yeah yeah yeah. I’ll try and catch the highlights of this game a little later.

It appears the Giants beat the Packers. I like E. Man but I never thought the Giants would make it this far OR win tonight’s game ( I actually saw this game… all of it!). I think I underestimated the Giants this season, they just didn’t seem THAT good to me. Apparently they played well in their last couple of games (which I didn’t watch, so maybe that’s why I thought the Packers were going to win for sure) and that momentum carried them to victory tonight. Well, congrats are in order nonetheless, so: Congrats!

I know of one fan in particular that hoped to see HIS team rubbing the NFC Championship trophy tonight. Sorry dude.

By the way, if you haven’t already heard, it was cold in Green Bay tonight.

So either last night or Friday night, the Hubby and I were watching this show called “Sport Science”. Now allow me to elaborate. Basically, the show asks questions along the lines of, “Who can jump the highest?” or “Who hits the hardest”, etc. and then proceeds to bring in different athletes who participate in “experiments” to answer the posed questions. I thought it was cool and pretty informative.

I spend a lot of time online and sometimes I run into people who say American football players are wimps compared to Rugby players because they wear pads. I used to get pissed a lot because none of the idiots saying that crap could take a hit from either sport. Assholes.

Enter “Sport Science”.

The episode we caught was entitled, “Who Hits the Hardest in Sports?” A couple of their “experiments” involved Rugby Players and American Football players.

In Rugby one of the hardest hits a player can sustain is called the “hospital pass”, that’s basically when a player is reaching up to catch the ball thereby leaving his body vulnerable and gets hit hard (tackled) by a defender. The defender can drive his shoulder into the rib section of the targeted player and as a result, send him to the hospital (get it? “hospital pass”?). Because there are no pads in Rugby, the force from a hit like this is centered in one area of the body. “Sport Science” brought in a Rugby team and had them perform the “hospital pass” on one of their teammates who was outfitted in all kinds of sensors to measure the force of the hit. Needless to say, it was pretty hard. To give viewers an idea of just how hard the impact was, the show compared “the hospital pass” to being hit with a sledgehammer. OUCH.

On to Football.

“Sport Science” then measured the force from a football player getting hit running “across the middle”; it’s like when a Wide Receiver runs across the middle of the football field and BAM! he gets the shit knocked out of him by a Linebacker. Quentin Jammer, Cornerback for the San Diego Chargers, was more than willing to help. For his experiment they had to use a crash test dummy that resembled a player because no one would volunteer to get hit (who would?). What was the result? It turns out that getting hit “across the middle” is like being in a 35mph car accident. Since football players wear padding, the force is dispersed rather than being focused in one area (Rugby).

And you know what? It turns out that getting hit “across the middle” was harder than Rugby’s “hospital pass”. It all comes down to: Do you want A LOT pain where the force is dispersed or less pain that’s focused in a single area? Car accident or sledgehammer? I’ll pass on both thanks.

I would have liked to see Quentin actually hit a live person so I’d feel more confident of the results, but I’ll take what I can get.

My conclusion: Football ROCKS!

But really, BOTH Rugby and Football players are pretty bad-ass.

For more information on “Sport Science” click HERE.

And did you hear it was cold in Green Bay tonight?

*****

THING OF THE DAY:

Oh man… did I love this commercial!

But let me share with you my girl-crush:

Her name is Gina Carano. While some of you might know her as “Crush” from the newly styled “American Gladiators”, I know her from her role as a mentor on the show “Fight Girls” (”Fight Girls” was a show that followed a select group of women as they trained and later fought for a Muy Thai Championship). Gina’s current Muy Thai record is 12-1-1 and her MMA record is currently 5-0 (a shout out to wikipedia. So not only is she insanely hot, she kicks ass to boot!

Seriously… she DOES set a standard (and WHAT a standard it is!).

Gina, you’re beautiful AND awesome. Right on!

NOTE TO SELF: …. must hit gym.

*****
Looks like yesterday’s picks were all kinds of wrong! San Diego beat Indianapolis 28-24 and the Giants beat the Cowboys 21-17. WOW! I’ve heard that anything can happen in the post-season and so far that’s turning out to be no mere rumor. I didn’t think the Giants had a chance against the Cowboys. I know I’m not a Giants fan, but I do have a soft spot for E-Man, and you know what? Even though I didn’t pick him and his team for the win, I’ll offer my congratulations anyway: Congratulations! As unlikely as it seems (or does it?), I wouldn’t mind seeing E-Man and his team get to the SB and even win the damn thing.

Blah blah Chargers and Colts blah blah (this isn’t ESPN, dammit).

Next week are the CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP GAMES! Will the Giants triumph over the Packers? Highly unlikely, but props for making it this far. Does San Diego have a chance against the Pats? Me thinks not. I pretty much see the Pats as an indestructible machine rolling over the opposition; although Jacksonville DID manage to get them on edge for a bit. Who knows? If the Chargers can score first and get in their head, the game might indeed be interesting.

****
Just to let you guys know: Time Warner arrived on Saturday when they said they would and took a look at our internet. Apparently, (as was explained to me) our modem was receiving TOO MUCH signal (don’t ask me) which caused it to act extremely gay. It turns out that everyone in our apartment uses the same cable line. This cable line has a sort of hierarchy: those at the top get faster better service (the shit you’re paying for) and those at the bottom get spotty crappy service (the shit you’re paying for, but shouldn’t be). So here is TW’s solution:

Every time someone in our building calls to complain about their service (whether it be cable or internet), a technician comes out and moves said customer from the bottom of the multimedia “food” chain to the top. Problem solved… except now some other poor bastard that was enjoying a high-speed working connection gets bumped down and screwed. *Sigh* And so it goes… Right now we are at the top; the service is faster than ever and I’m happily zooming through cyberspace unhindered. I just wonder how long it will last this time.

*****

THING OF THE DAY:

From Bridget Jones’s Diary:

Interviewer: What do you think about the El Nino phenomenon?
Bridget: It’s a blip. Latin music’s on its way out.

I offer you an example:

I’ve been a football fan for the past year. I root for the San Francisco Forty-Niners a.k.a the NINERS a.k.a The Fuckin NINERS (yeah, 2007 was not our year). To prove my fandom I bought a Jersey, a DVD of their complete history, and a book that explains football. Cuz c’mon, you can’t be a fan and NOT understand the game. ah ha!

Anyways, before I realized the Awesomeness that is football I used to say terrible things like: “I can’t believe these guys are paid to play a game… it’s ridiculous!” and “These idiots are so overpaid… and what do they do again? Wear tight pants and pile on top of each other for some stupid ball??” and also “Football is boring and stupid… it’s dumb to pay people to play a sport when the real heroes (i.e. teachers) are vastly underpaid…”

So you see, my main complaint was that these athletes were overpaid. And I suppose my secondary complaint was that they were being paid to play a game. And of course a third complaint was they were being paid obscene amounts of money.

So… yeah, I was such a hater.

I used to be fond of getting into heated debates as to why professional sports were dumb and why I would never support them. I fancied myself an intellectual (don’t ask why… because to be honest I didn’t even finish college… and I’m really not that smart). I believed in a system where the mind was rewarded, NOT physical agility.

Well, one day I was having one such debate with my husband (who was at the time my boyfriend… or maybe he was my fiancee. I’m not sure and it’s really not important for the point I’m trying to make) and a fellow co-worker of ours. Well, my husband (who was then either my boyfriend or fiancee) said something to completely shut me down. And when I say shut down I mean I was absolutely speechless. You know how you’re having a conversation and someone introduces an idea that’s completely viable… and you’re so astounded by it you stop mid-action and emit an audible “ahhh”?? No??? Well just imagine it then and it will give you some idea as to how I felt.

Anyway, the thing my husband (at the time my boyfriend OR fiancee) said was (and this is as close to a direct quote as I can get): “Jill, you’re worth whatever someone wants to pay you.”

Wow.

Even now I can’t run from the truth of that statement. All those years hating overpaid athletes and the system that allows it, torn to shreds by one simple statement.

I mean when you think about it, it makes perfect sense. If people are willing to pay… why not take them up on it? If someone offered me tons of money to pick lint out of my bellybutton I’d do it… I’d think they were weird, but being weird doesn’t stop your money from being green.

Now this brings us to other such “services” people are willing to pay for… like prostitution and the like. I’m going to completely avoid this most taboo of subjects and just say it’s a personal choice.

So yeah… it’s good to have a partner with a different take on things. I find that my soapbox gets a lot of use in my everyday life and it’s good to have someone that knocks me off it when I get to “into” myself.

I also didn’t mention that I played in three fantasy leagues and a Pro Pick ‘Em this year. I came in second in the Pick ‘Em (of course there were only 4 of us and one guy didn’t participate the whole season… so really three of us) and in one of my leagues I came in third place. I often log onto yahoo and look dreamily at my virtual bronze trophy.

So… yeah… I love football. I like being apart of something that’s bigger than myself; I like knowing the stats of the guys on my team; I like wearing my jersey in public; And I like the feeling of wanting to beat ass when some loser insults one of my guys.

It would appear that that one statement caused me to let go of my hate for pro sports and become a fan myself, but… that’s not the case at all. That statement merely brought an end to my days of being a hater (and yeah I hated everything about pro sports from the way some fans get too involved to the huge amounts of cash the athletes are paid).

How and why I became a football fan is another story altogether, but that’s neither here nor there (where is it then? I haven’t the slightest).

RANDOM QUOTE:

From “The Office” (British version):
Gareth: I can read women. You’ve got to know their wants and their needs. And that can be anything from making sure she’s got enough money to buy groceries each week to making sure she’s gratified sexually after intercourse.