Dear Adulthood,
Hi. My name is Jillian. We met briefly when I turned 18, but haven’t had much contact since. I’ve heard a lot about you, and not all of it good. Some people say you suck the fun out of everything and require people to be serious all the time, but I’m sure that’s just gossip. Surely you can’t be all bad. I mean it’s because of you I got to vote and buy my first pack of cigarettes. And later, when I turned 21, I’m told it’s you that made it OK for me to finally buy alcohol. This was good because I was tired of getting people to buy booze for me. So thanks for that.
The rest of my letter...
**The following story is true in its ENTIRETY as told to me. Names have been changed to protect the innocent and easily embarrassed. Stuff like this will probably not be a regular feature on this blog, but I thought it was something worth sharing. I hope you enjoy (and don’t grade me too harshly on punctuation) And don’t worry, I have obtained permission to share this. Also, the content is adult in nature. You’ve been warned!**
“Ooooo yeah… I’m so close…. ahhhhh….”
I hope he’s almost done, I’m hungry… Once again Amanda would go unsatisfied, she was beginning to think these things called orgasms just did not exist. As much as people talked about them, surely she should have had one by now. Fuck, she thought, this was about as fun as stapling my eyelids shut. Her mom told her it was supposed to get better, that when two people were together for the first time sometimes the “rhythm” was… off. If her count was correct (and it should be, since one isn’t inclined to forget less-than-stellar bedroom activities), this would mark the 7th time Dave has “made it” without bringing her along. Why do I even bother? If other people are having this kind of sex, why in the world are they so happy about it?
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Dear Time Warner,
Fuck you very much.
- Jill.
I don’t understand why I’m expected to pay my bill ( in FULL no less) every month and these assholes can just provide whatever kind of shitty service they have going at the time. FUCK! Seriously, this shit is annoying. I was offline for TWO hours because I had to wait for my internet to come back on. What exactly am I supposed to do without my internet? Read? Take up a hobby? Stop the violence and increase the peace? Ahahaha… no really, what am I supposed to do?
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