You guys don’t get a chance to engage me in real life conversation, so I thought I would share some phrases I frequently use. It’s not that I’m lazy when it comes to communicating, it’s just that these phrases perfectly express anything I could ever want to say. I could venture out into new territory, but what if a new phrase leaves a bad taste in my mouth? What if I deliver it wrong? What if I place the inflection on the wrong syllable? This stuff shouldn’t be taken lightly. And that’s exactly why I stick to what I know:
- “Fuck THAT shit.” - I like this one because it takes a stand, sets a boundary. It draws a line. Once you hear me utter these words, you best believe whatever it is has been effectively killed.
Time Warner: Your cable bill is due.
Me: Man, fuck THAT shit.
More servings from my dirty mouth...
So here’s the thing: I have no problem with men taking male enhancement drugs. If the package needs a little “extra”, then by all means help it along. I will not begrudge a guy attempting to “better” himself, in fact, I would go so far as to applaud him for realizing there is a problem and taking an appropriate avenue to rectify it. To be honest, I have less respect for the guy who recognizes his predicament and chooses to ignore it, than I do for the guy who tackles things “head on”.
Read the rest of this entry »
I’ll concede the title is a bit much.
Let’s move on…
A Valentine’s Day scribbling:
We’re young.
We spend our money on Wrestling Pay-Per-Views and DVD’s. We go to movies and text friends about them. We MySpace. We lie in bed all day putting off laundry and paying bills. We don’t open mail. We quit jobs because they suck while having nothing else lined up. We watch cartoons and complain about dialogue. We talk about our childhood like it’s so far behind us. We feel old sometimes, like we know it all.
Read the rest of this entry »
When I was single, lonely and desperate I told myself that whoever I married was going to get a pretty good deal. So many times had I witnessed countless wives and girlfriends dragging their obviously miserable boyfriends and husbands from store to store shopping; I said I would never do that to my guy. I hate shopping anyway, so I wouldn’t even do that to myself. I’ve been to movies and witnessed the male half of a couple dread going into the theater because he knows he’s in for a force-fed 2 hour estrogen feast. No guy of mine would ever endure that. In essence, I was going to be the cool girlfriend… the kick-ass wife. I told myself I would never talk during football, I would never ask him to hold my purse, I would never in a million years make him go shopping with me and I would never force him to watch a girly flick he clearly had no interest in.
Read the rest of this entry »
