… or is it?
There have been some ghastly rumors going around I feel I need to address. Let this post serve as one that separates FACT from FICTION.
FICTION: JillianApproved has decided to close up shop.
This is not true. Now mind you, I could have been the one to start such a rumor… but I’m setting the record (and myself) straight. It’s not happening. Yeah yeah, I know it says I update twice a week and those of you who visit regularly know it’s a damn lie. That will change. See, I learned something: you can’t put creativity on a fucking schedule. That shit flows whenever it flows and you just need to be there to catch it. Needless to say my cup hasn’t runneth over in quite a while. So no more schedule, no more deadlines, and no more feeling bad about not updating when I said I would. From now on, it happens WHEN it happens.
Consider this the beginning of a new era. You’re welcome.
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What’s this? You didn’t read the first part? Go HERE and get caught up!
*****
God, he drives slow. Amanda glanced at Dave from the passenger seat and made a face. Why hadn’t she noticed his annoying driving skills before? Just how blind had she been this past year? Fuck! I doubt he’s ever driven faster than 50mph.
“Do you ever drive faster than 50? People keep going around because you aren’t going fast enough.”
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**The following story is true in its ENTIRETY as told to me. Names have been changed to protect the innocent and easily embarrassed. Stuff like this will probably not be a regular feature on this blog, but I thought it was something worth sharing. I hope you enjoy (and don’t grade me too harshly on punctuation) And don’t worry, I have obtained permission to share this. Also, the content is adult in nature. You’ve been warned!**
“Ooooo yeah… I’m so close…. ahhhhh….”
I hope he’s almost done, I’m hungry… Once again Amanda would go unsatisfied, she was beginning to think these things called orgasms just did not exist. As much as people talked about them, surely she should have had one by now. Fuck, she thought, this was about as fun as stapling my eyelids shut. Her mom told her it was supposed to get better, that when two people were together for the first time sometimes the “rhythm” was… off. If her count was correct (and it should be, since one isn’t inclined to forget less-than-stellar bedroom activities), this would mark the 7th time Dave has “made it” without bringing her along. Why do I even bother? If other people are having this kind of sex, why in the world are they so happy about it?
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I cannot tell you how much I want to kick Blogger in the nuts.
So I won’t.
Instead, I’ll move on to my post.
I went to the doctor a few days ago for a physical and a drug test. That sounds kinda nasty, huh? Like I was naughty and it finally caught up to me. The truth is, I’m starting a new job in the next couple of weeks and these kinds of things are requirements now. I can understand that though, no one wants to hire a crackhead. Except maybe me. I would pay them just enough for their next fix so they would HAVE to come back and work for the next one. Think about that, I could really be on to something.
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