Wrath of the Reusable Dialogue

You guys don’t get a chance to engage me in real life conversation, so I thought I would share some phrases I frequently use. It’s not that I’m lazy when it comes to communicating, it’s just that these phrases perfectly express anything I could ever want to say. I could venture out into new territory, but what if a new phrase leaves a bad taste in my mouth? What if I deliver it wrong? What if I place the inflection on the wrong syllable? This stuff shouldn’t be taken lightly. And that’s exactly why I stick to what I know:

  • “Fuck THAT shit.” - I like this one because it takes a stand, sets a boundary. It draws a line. Once you hear me utter these words, you best believe whatever it is has been effectively killed.

Time Warner: Your cable bill is due.

Me: Man, fuck THAT shit.

More servings from my dirty mouth...

Lemon Poundcake

One of the good things about being married (so far anyway) is the different perspective your partner can potentially offer. And I say “potentially” in case you are a part of one of those twosomes that ALWAYS agrees on everything…. if you are, just know that I’m not sure if I should despise you or feel creeped out.

I offer you an example:

I’ve been a football fan for the past year. I root for the San Francisco Forty-Niners a.k.a the NINERS a.k.a The Fuckin NINERS (yeah, 2007 was not our year). To prove my fandom I bought a Jersey, a DVD of their complete history, and a book that explains football. Cuz c’mon, you can’t be a fan and NOT understand the game. ah ha!

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