Hello, all. My name is Jan, AKA The H. You know, Jill’s husband. I know the site’s been dormant and Jill’s missed a few posting deadlines, but rest assured she’s not dead, just busy. And lazy. Don’t worry, the site’s not going anywhere, and Jill will get back on schedule soon. OR ELSE NO DINNER!
Anyway, she’s been after me for awhile to do some sort of “guest post”, which is just a nice way of saying “do my work for me”. So, here goes. I’m pretty rusty at this sort of thing -I haven’t done any real blogging for about 3 years.
I was a bit conflicted on what to write, to be honest -I dig the “Approved, Disapproved” gimmick Jill’s been working, but I couldn’t decide which way to go. So, in the grand American tradition of excess, I’ll do one of each.
More from the likes of Jan...
You guys can go ahead and congratulate me, I passed my school bus driving test. I feel as good as someone who just won a free Coke from 7-Eleven. Any day now I’ll be receiving my new [commercial] Class B license and school bus certificate in the mail. Yup, I have been officially certified as someone who can safely transport young lives to and fro. The responsibility is practically crushing.
These past two weeks have been a little rough on me though.
First of all, it’s hot as fuck. Normally, I don’t mind the heat. I can function pretty well in it. But for some reason our apartment is now doubling as a sauna, and no matter how high we turn up the A/C it just doesn’t cut it. So that sucks and it also screws up my rest. I don’t know about you guys, but I take my sleepy time very seriously. I think all lazy people do.
More complaints and inane ramblings...
You guys don’t get a chance to engage me in real life conversation, so I thought I would share some phrases I frequently use. It’s not that I’m lazy when it comes to communicating, it’s just that these phrases perfectly express anything I could ever want to say. I could venture out into new territory, but what if a new phrase leaves a bad taste in my mouth? What if I deliver it wrong? What if I place the inflection on the wrong syllable? This stuff shouldn’t be taken lightly. And that’s exactly why I stick to what I know:
- “Fuck THAT shit.” - I like this one because it takes a stand, sets a boundary. It draws a line. Once you hear me utter these words, you best believe whatever it is has been effectively killed.
Time Warner: Your cable bill is due.
Me: Man, fuck THAT shit.
More servings from my dirty mouth...
No, I’m not dead. But I had a few things to do, also I had nothing to write about and I refused to post song lyrics or a YouTube video in place of something I actually took the time to write. You know how it is. But it looks like I’m back. It’s time I got the ball rolling in getting this site to where I see it in my mind. Once again, thanks for your support.
When I was in high school and applying for scholarships, I never found one geared toward persons like me. When attending all those boring workshops for the college-bound, teachers would always stress
the perfect scholarship was out there, you just had to look for it. But I don’t think someone wanted to pay for the education of an under-achieving slacker whose idea of a good time was eating pudding and watching Saturday morning cartoons. As awesome as it would have been, I doubt anyone would have been an enabler to my saga of laziness and general time-wasting activities. Another thing that always barred me from the free ride I obviously deserved, was the grade requirement. A 3.0 student I was not. School, like most things I didn’t want to do, was something I just soldiered through.
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