Did any of you ever see the movie “The Inkwell”? The title is a line from the film. There’s a scene where this kid’s Dad is trying to explain sex… along with the importance of the CLITORIS. Now I’m not sure if the Dad actually says the word CLITORIS, I mean it’s quite possible he just meant the VAGINA as a whole.
But something makes me pretty sure he was referencing the almighty CLITORIS.
I have no reason to mention this quote other than to say I still don’t get what the Dad meant. How is it like a guitar string? What exactly is getting plucked? I’m not going to lie: I’m VERY familiar with my “sex” parts, but I don’t know anything down there that requires plucking. Rubbing? Sure. Stroking? Of course… but plucking? Not so much. I pride myself on having a good relationship with the big “V”. We’ve known one another my whole life, and the relationship is so good I don’t even have to call before I visit. And let’s face it: whenever I DO drop by, we both know it’s only for one reason. Well, if you want to get into specifics, maybe it’s more than just ONE reason, but you get the picture.
Interested in MORE clitoris?
So I have big breasts. It’s not unusual for people to stare and beg to rub things on them, only to leave disappointed when I refuse. As a teen, the heat missiles strapped to my chest were good for drawing the attention of seedy men. I remember how pimps used to hit on me, ensuring I would never opt for a life on the street. Nothing made the walk home from school more uncomfortable than hearing shouts of, “Damn gurl, bring those juicy D’s over to Daddy!” This of course, was cause for offense. If I were ever going to sell myself, why have a middle man? Surely I’d be better off NOT having someone beat me and take half of my money? That’s just Bad Business 101. No way those fools were gonna play me.
More about 'big ole titties'...
No, I’m not dead. But I had a few things to do, also I had nothing to write about and I refused to post song lyrics or a YouTube video in place of something I actually took the time to write. You know how it is. But it looks like I’m back. It’s time I got the ball rolling in getting this site to where I see it in my mind. Once again, thanks for your support.
When I was in high school and applying for scholarships, I never found one geared toward persons like me. When attending all those boring workshops for the college-bound, teachers would always stress
the perfect scholarship was out there, you just had to look for it. But I don’t think someone wanted to pay for the education of an under-achieving slacker whose idea of a good time was eating pudding and watching Saturday morning cartoons. As awesome as it would have been, I doubt anyone would have been an enabler to my saga of laziness and general time-wasting activities. Another thing that always barred me from the free ride I obviously deserved, was the grade requirement. A 3.0 student I was not. School, like most things I didn’t want to do, was something I just soldiered through.
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This coming May I will have been married a year. When my anniversary hits you should expect a horribly mushy scribbling in which I recount our wedding day and post pictures of the wondrous event. Now I don’t know how true this is, but I’m quite certain the Angels rejoiced on that marvelous day.
No really, they did.
Now I know some of you are wondering why would I attempt to give advice on something I haven’t mastered myself. And that is a valid concern. What do I, a mere Padawan, know about relationships? How could I have possibly learned anything worth passing on in such a short amount of time? Well, you would be surprised. In this post I plan on sharing tips and pointers previously unresearched and never before documented that will hopefully help you maintain a mind-blowing level of happiness in your relationship.
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*Warning – This post might contain Too Much Information (TMI). Read at your own risk.*
The price of stuff is going up.
We recently went grocery shopping and a pound of butter was almost $6! Can you believe that? Why is butter so expensive? We almost had to put it on lay-away. Pretty soon we’ll have to purchase it on a stick-by-stick basis and I don’t think stores even do that. So to save money, we have come to the obvious and very logical conclusion to cut-back spending on certain items. I guess my cranberry juice doesn’t have to be OceanSpray and I suppose I can drink Dr. Fizz instead of Dr. Pepper.
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