You guys don’t get a chance to engage me in real life conversation, so I thought I would share some phrases I frequently use. It’s not that I’m lazy when it comes to communicating, it’s just that these phrases perfectly express anything I could ever want to say. I could venture out into new territory, but what if a new phrase leaves a bad taste in my mouth? What if I deliver it wrong? What if I place the inflection on the wrong syllable? This stuff shouldn’t be taken lightly. And that’s exactly why I stick to what I know:
- “Fuck THAT shit.” - I like this one because it takes a stand, sets a boundary. It draws a line. Once you hear me utter these words, you best believe whatever it is has been effectively killed.
Time Warner: Your cable bill is due.
Me: Man, fuck THAT shit.
More servings from my dirty mouth...
Time Warner… why must we dance this dance?
The internet wasn’t working for most of the day… again. We (hubby and I) turned off our computers and unplugged and reset the modem several times. None of that worked, so we called “tech support”. I put “tech support” in quotations because it’s a laughable term in relation to Time Warner.
I love that when you call TW, the first thing they have you do is unplug and reset your modem… like you haven’t already done that 107510595 times. I especially love that when you inform them you’ve already tried resetting your modem several times, they ask you to do it anyway (because evidently the way you did it couldn’t possibly have been the right way. I guess there are several ways to unplug a modem aside from just unplugging it).
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Dear Time Warner,
Fuck you very much.
- Jill.
I don’t understand why I’m expected to pay my bill ( in FULL no less) every month and these assholes can just provide whatever kind of shitty service they have going at the time. FUCK! Seriously, this shit is annoying. I was offline for TWO hours because I had to wait for my internet to come back on. What exactly am I supposed to do without my internet? Read? Take up a hobby? Stop the violence and increase the peace? Ahahaha… no really, what am I supposed to do?
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